MY HEART OF WALL

 

SCARED. AFRAID that you might be the one for me. FEARFUL that after being too attached to you, I would be left behind.

WALL. I started putting it up after all the tragedies and traumas I’ve been through and now it’s keeping me from being too close to you. It’s my DEFENSE MECHANISM to keep you FAR from me. I call it eE2��MY HEART WALL’. I find solace in my little cave of insecurities and comfort in being alone, not being with someone, minding my own business, in the absence of hurt, pain and even love. My mind repetitively says that I’m not worthy to love nor worth it to be loved. Despite my victories, my status quo in life, achievements, notwithstanding how people think of me, an encourager, inspiration, friend, I still can’t help succumbing into my own cocoon because I don’t want you to see the scars, the damages, my brokenness. I DON’T WANT YOU TO SEE WHO I AM.

FOREVER. I believe that God’s love is ETERNAL, then again, I refuse to accept as true that there is a FOREVER in relationships between a MAN and a WOMAN. That it does not exist. Yeah, I guess I’m the most stubborn hearted person you could ever befriend. Years of harrowing incidents, occurrences and experiences has brutally left me scarred, damaged and I thought I was beyond repair:

BUT

JESUS CAME and is in the

BUSINESS of

FIXING “ME”

PARDON. FORGIVE my rudeness if there would be periods, intervals, spells when you can’t find me, when I’m not always there. Be COMFORTED that I am in the DWELLING PLACE of my SAVIOR JESUS, RESTING, DISPELLING all my fears and SPENDING WONDERFUL moments of HIS GRACIOUS LOVE most especially when I am petrified.

BROKEN ALABASTER VASE.

John 12:3-7

New International Version (NIV)

³ Then Mary took about a pint^[a] of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.

HEALING. This is me, broken, spilled out and down at JESUS’ feet. It is a slow and yet sure process. Someday, I’m coming out of my shell. One day I would be free from the chains, doubts and fears engulfing me.

BUT FOR NOW, I JUST WANT TO BE WHERE JESUS IS AND STAY IN HIS EMBRACE BECAUSE I AM SCARED.

Pimping UP MY WORK CRIB

 I basically work from 9 A.M. to 6 P.M. in our Law Firm at Quezon City which means that my office is considered as my 2nd home already =) Thus, practically staying for hours, sitting in front of my table, I have come to realize that I ought to make my work crib as comfortable as it could be. So I started searching out web accounts and blog sites for the coolest and  most creative office cubicles I could find, my primordial purpose of which is to enjoy my job and to produce efficient results as a Legal Researcher. It is a fact that if you're happy with what you're doing, inspired and creatively encouraged, obviously you'd be all the more proficient with the outcome of your toil/labor =) The Legal Profession could at times be boring, tiresome, tedious or even monotonous since we deal w/ papers works. A PILE OF PAPER WORKS sometimes too MONSTROUS to even accomplish, haha.

As you could see, the wall paper on my screen has been artistically designed by none other than Sir Rommel Estanislao. This is one of his GOSPEL GRAPHICS =) Fantastically motivating and encouraging since God's Word is to be found on each and every design. If you want to know more about this artist and see more of his works just make a comment at the 'comment link' below.

This is my small, lifeless headquarters (work crib) haha. Since I started working full time only last December 2010, my lack of creativity and artistry has left my cubicle looking like a 'lapida' LOL, dead & dull. But upon seeing the work cribs of Pastor Jordan Escusa and Lizette Claudio, I started adding colorful stuff to my table and office accessories, as well as upon seeing the inventive and imaginative masterpieces of Sir Estanislao, Norby Ela, Aileen Casis, Seb Chua, Tepai Pascual and all the other local artists, began  buying cute gaudy decorations.

     

 

 

I am going to take it one step at a time, these are life's simple pleasures teaching us to thank God even in the smallest of things, to be content with whatever is provided us and to handle the petite or minute things with the best care possible so that God or people could later on entrust us with bigger or greater things.

The following are the cool Work cribs of people who inspire me in life! If you have anything to add or if you think your work place is pretty much awesome too, let me know and send me pictures! =) Let's inspire people to work hard, and do their Best for the Lord, their families and those they love! =))

Pastor Jordan Escusa's AZTIG WORK PLACE

Pastor Jordan Escusa's AZTIG WORK PLACE

Pastor Jordan Escusa's AZTIG WORK PLACE

Ms. Lizette Claudio

Ms. Lizette Claudio's Amazing Workplace

Here are additional links for office designs as suggested by readers of this blog and tweetmates:

http://www.hgtv.com/designers-portfolio/room/modern/home-offices/3113/index.html